A Thank You to 2020

Can we just take a moment, and bear with me, to thank 2020 for all the lessons it taught us??

For better or worse, it happened, Y’all. In January of 2020 there is no way we were considering a global pandemic that would literally shut the country DOWN just months later! Nearly 2 million deaths, an economic monstrosity, and on top of covid-19, the innumerable racial injustices and tension that broke hearts and families. 2020 was hard. It was full of adversity and it disrupted every single person’s life.

But within a year full of ALL of that, I am also eternally grateful for the things that I learned. As a wife, a mom, a teacher, a woman. Grace, authenticity, growth, humility, grit, determination, relationships, the importance of family, faith, hope, and how to be present—how about all of this just to name a few lessons?

I thank 2020 for teaching me so much. I thank it for allowing (forcing really) more time with my family and especially children, then ever before. My ‘time off’ four years ago (January-May 2016) wasn’t even filled with this much ‘togetherness.’ More time outdoors; walks and hikes, and the year that got me back into distance running.

In 2019 I didn’t think too much about a lot of things or maybe I should say, I didn’t appreciate them. Going into a bakery for a fresh donut, or sipping coffee in a coffee shop? What about hosting friends and family; gathering people into our home and fellowshipping—in person? Life without masks…seeing someone’s smile, or frown, or emotions, period. Not being fearful of someone coughing nearby or expecting the worst when they do. When viruses were simply viruses, not death sentences.

I began to find happiness in the simple things, more than ever before. As a 32-year old woman, I realized the very best things and the very best people are literally within these walls. (Okay, that’s not entirely true. They’re also at a barn thirty minutes away but you know what I mean.) We’ve always heard the phrase, “life is too short,” but now we can see so much (too much) proof of that. We live in a world of ‘go go go,’ and Asa and I have talked often about how weirdly thankful we are that we have HAD to slow WAY down. We haven’t been able to make plans every weekend. We couldn’t host, we couldn’t do date nights, and the kids haven’t had a sport to go to or be a part of in, um, forever. Will we be thankful when we get to welcome those beautiful things into our lives again? Absolutely! But let’s never forget how much more present we have been and how much more mindful too.

‘When life returns to normal,’ is a phrase I’ve heard a lot too. When will it ever be normal again? What is normal? Here’s my honest opinion. I don’t want life to return back to ‘normal.’ That’s like asking to go back in time and undoing all the beautiful things that we just learned and reaped. TRUTHS: I would love a world without masks. I would love a world where we don’t live in fear. I would love to have friends and family over for dinner and drinks without thinking twice about it. But the old normal we all had, was abnormal in so many ways. Perhaps in 2021 we learn to grieve the once normalcies we had and fight hard as a family and as humanity, to create a NEW normal.

As a believer of Christ, I believe every single day we are getting closer to meeting our Maker. Whether that’s when He comes back and returns to US, or when it’s our time to go; with that said, I also believe the Bible is the Word of God and that life will only continue to point to HIM. 2021 won’t bring magical ease. It won’t be a year of less pain or suffering. But do you know what I believe and hope for? That it will be a year we get to love EVEN more than we did in 2020. That we can open our arms and physically help and love those in need; and that we can lean on each other in big, AWESOME ways. And that we continue to spread the love of Jesus wherever our days may take us.

All of you have been seeking a New Year, and well, now it’s here. IT’S HERE! Please don’t take that lightly. And thank you, 2020, for the year of self-reflection, of gratitude, slow growth, and for the recharge to begin again.

A Birthday Tribute to My Brother Nathan, and Asking for YOUR Help

I used to wonder if one day my brother would wake up and miraculously start talking. If he wouldn’t have any challenges walking or moving. If he would wake up one day and be a brand new person. As I take a moment to reflect on those wonders, it brings numerous different feelings up on the horizon of my sometimes fragile emotions.

Early on in dating, Asa once asked me what I thought about Heaven and what I looked forward to about it. I don’t remember word for word what I replied with, but I know I said something along the lines that I couldn’t wait to watch my brother run wild and free on the streets of gold. I can’t fathom, really. I can’t fathom my brother not being in pain, not having challenges, not having struggle after struggle health wise. But do you know what else I can’t fathom…? The amount of strength, grit, determination, will and JOY that he continues to have on a DAILY basis.

“How are you, Nate?” you can ask.

“Goo,” he will without a doubt respond, which is GOOD.

Since this is a place of transparency and because I haven’t shared much as a young woman of a special needs sibling, I also find it necessary to be real with you. When I was in the fourth grade, I remember going to bed angry. About what, I can’t remember—but I definitely was having lots of mixed emotions. I remember very, very vividly, imagining a world where Nathan didn’t exist. “I wonder what it would be like if he wasn’t here anymore,” I thought. I went to bed that way, and some time early in the morning, I heard my mom’s blood curdling scream. I heard her yelling, “SEAN!!!!!!" SEAN!!!!!!” at the top of her lungs. It was still dark out, I was SO confused, and I remember racing to the sound of her voice. I can remember seeing her on the phone, crying, speaking loudly and urgently, and Nathan on his bed, unresponsive. I didn’t know it at the time, but he had just had a Grand Mal Seizure.

I sprinted out of the room and basically ran psychotically around, and ended up in my mom’s room alone. I was sobbing. My brother Sean must have came in as I do remember him telling me to get it together. That may sound harsh, but I know that he was kind of being tugged too; as the middle child, he had different responsibilities. He needed to be strong for my parents and he needed to be strong for me, his baby sister. “I KILLED HIM!” I yelled at Sean. “I killed Nathan.”

That one memory seems to be eternally engrained in my mind and on my heart… I felt so strongly that it was my fault for picturing a life without Nathan! As my relationship with God grew and as I matured in my faith and as a person, I know that’s not how life works. It was a very horrendous, ironic incident that I had absolutely zero control over. But it still hurts to type out and also is humiliating admitting any of it.

You see, I CANNOT picture a life without my oldest brother, nor do I ever want to.

Nathan is who we have called our Energizer Bunny, forever. He has survived countless medical emergencies. He has beaten the odds time after time after time. “He won’t live past 18,” my parents have heard from doctors. “He has 1% chance of surviving this,” they’ve said. And here we are. Today he turns 38 years old. THIRTY-EIGHT. I and we don’t take his birthdays for granted. While Nathan is strong, he is also incredibly fragile. His bones don’t work they way they once did (and even then, they didn’t work great!!) He is battling several different health issues right now with insulin and glucose; he is scheduled to have oral surgery at the end of this month. There is so much more but I’d do a horrible job explaining it all so I don’t think I’ll try.

I write this to share a piece of my heart as his little kid sister…the baby of the family. Who couldn’t quite comprehend everything in my growing up years, and who may have struggled and battled trying to…but who as an adult and now mom myself…can’t really find the right words to use to describe just how MUCH I love him. Nathan is largely the reason for my faith in God. I believe he is the reason our family has stayed together. He is the reason Sean and I can dream BIG, GIANT dreams and why we keep fighting for them. He is why we all love each other SO much. He’s the reason for a lot of things and I just feel really, really blessed to be his sister.

One thing our family needs (and has needed for a long time now!) is an in home elevator for Nathan. Sean and I created a GoFundMe account for him over Thanksgiving and are pushing hard to reach this goal. Nathan’s mobility and health decreases every SINGLE year. My parents are in their sixties and take full care of him, but they have health challenges of their own. In order to safely use both floors in their home with Nathan, he sincerely needs this elevator. We are a little more than half way there, so I’m asking YOU, whoever you are and wherever you are reading this from: would you consider donating even $5? And would you please share his GoFundMe page on your social channels? You never know who will see it and be touched to give! Today is Nathan’s birthday—what an incredible gift to tell him that YOU helped!

I appreciate every single one of you who is reading this. Thank you for helping this blog be a safe space for me to write to you, and a place where I can share my heart. I feel very undeserving of my brother’s love, but gosh I am so thankful for it.

Happy birthday, Nathan Wayne! I and we love you SO incredibly much. We pray you have lots of energy today and that above all, you know how LOVED and inspirational you are!

Hi There, I'm Jack Bogart

Well, Friends. We did a thing.

Golden Retrievers are basically my love language, so it was a no brainer when Asa and I finally felt ready to add to our clan. We prayed and prayed and looked and looked and ultimately decided that Great Golden Breeding near Morehead, Kentucky would be where our new pup came from. We picked him up on Labor Day and trust me when I say it was SO hard to choose. ALL of the boy puppies were so great! We knew we wanted a boy because Asa has missed HIS boy so dearly—our wonderful Humphrey Bogart, and we wanted to get another guy in his honor. That’s why his name is Jack Bogart. After our sweet boy we had twelve incredible years with.

We were number three in line to choose from the male puppies, and when we got there, we knew we had chosen the right breeder. Farah was incredible, kind, patient, and very helpful and her facility for the pups was wonderful! It was such a fun memory that I hope our kids remember forever!

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss our Elsa Noel. My first American Golden. This boy is in honor of BOTH Asa and I’s first kids ;) Welcome to the family, Jack Bogart. So far we call you Jack Jack, Jackie Boy, and Reese calls you Bubba.

Emma sure was surprised and as reserved as I was to GET another dog, gosh they both make my heart so full. She adores him SO much and he just loves her. They play and play and Emma is so patient and gentle with her new baby. We wrapped him up and told her we had gotten her a gift.

Bring on the potty training, some sleepless nights, and ALL the Golden kisses. Here’s to the newest chapter in our life. We are very, very excited!

Our Top 5 (Louisville and Surrounding) Trails to Hike

Stores are shut down, restaurants, malls, heck even playgrounds and parks. The biggest way we are staying busy and HAPPY is honestly through a ton of outdoor time, and specifically hiking. Here are 5 of our favorite places that we frequently revisit and wander around with our sweet pup Emma:

1.) Garvin Brown Nature Preserve: a 46-acre nature preserve that is owned and preserved by River Fields.

Directions to Garvin Brown Preserve:
To access Garvin Brown Preserve, take River Road to Bass Road. Continue to Bass Road to Park Road. Park in the paved parking lot near Hays Kennedy Park's soccer field. Cross Hays Kennedy land for about 800 feet until you come to the small gate at the entrance of the preserve.

2.) Creasey Mahan Nature Preserve: Creasey Mahan Nature Preserve is a 170-acre non-profit nature preserve dedicated by Virginia Creasey Mahan and Howard Mahan to enrich the community through conservation, education, preservation, and community enjoyment.

Directions to Creasey Mahan: 12501 Harmony Landing Rd Goshen, Kentucky

3.) Tioga Falls: an interesting and scenic waterfall located near Louisville Kentucky. The hike to the falls is scenic and passes by some really awesome railroad trestles. The falls is best seen in the spring or after a good rain…when we went recently, the waterfall was absolutely beautiful! PS: this is where Asa asked me to his girlfriend a hundred or so years ago, so it’s pretty special to me!

Directions to Tioga Falls: West Point, Kentucky 40177 (Click here for their website)

4.) Wild Hyacinth Trail in the Parklands: Turkey Run Park inside the Parklands, has some of the most extensive collection of hiking trails. Just thirty minutes from downtown Louisville, you will not be disappointed when you land here for some outdoor time! Specifically the Wild Hyacinth Trail is right across the street from the Stout House, and as you walk, you surely will hear spring peepers, woodpeckers, and the sound of flowing water in the Turkey Run Creek. It’s about 1.5 miles and rated as moderate, and our kids and Emma traveled it without any issues at all. I can’t seem to find photos from this hike, so you’ll just have to trust me that it’s beautiful and worth it!

Directions to the Parklands: 1411 Beckley Creek Parkway (5.40 mi) Louisville, Kentucky 40245

5.) Elm Lick Trail at Bernheim Forest: this was a 5-mile hike that our family recently did with cousins and all our dogs! It is rated as difficult and it definitely had some challenging parts for us, going up and down some steep slopes, and taking around 2.5 hours to complete. You will come across the Elm Lick Watershed and see so many diverse landscapes. There are streams, grasslands, oak-hickory and beech-maple trees, and even an old homesite.

Directions to Bernheim Forest: 2075 Clermont Rd, Clermont, KY 40110

Overall the weather here in Louisville has been quite nice. A little on the chilly side, but nothing too cold. Some of the days we have bundled up in our fleeces or hoodies, but we always feel nice and warm once we get moving. It is SO easy to get bored and restless staying indoors…we can’t really hang out with friends or family indoors or host meals for people that we love. Honestly hiking has been a godsend for our family, and I will continue to share with you all on Instagram where we go! Definitely follow along in my stories there, weekly we are going outside and on family walks. I hope wherever you are you are staying well and ACTIVE!